i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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