I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
someone owes me an orgasm
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
