you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
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The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
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Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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