Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
