You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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