508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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