He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
