As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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