Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
