What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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