did you get engaged???
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
