I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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