Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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