Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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