He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
