Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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