omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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