in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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