Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
