My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize