butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
