were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
