I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
