The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well I just put wine in my tea
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
