addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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