At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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