This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
