508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
