We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
