I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
