Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
