i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
