my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
