I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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