I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
