But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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