Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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