Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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