Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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