I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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