She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
