cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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