I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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