My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
