He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Houston, we have a squirter
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
