The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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