My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just invented taco cereal.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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