I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
