Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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