Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize