it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
