I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
