Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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