her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
