What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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