I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
