after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
