he shaved USA in his pubs
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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