i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
