apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
