____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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