omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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